Maria is an assistant teacher in Statistical Interference at the University of Auckland according to a new press release from the University. It also describes some of the unique attributes of Maria. First of all, it claims she's a virtual, artificial intelligence entity "with a vocabulary of 203,000 words, a repertoire of 106,000 grammatical rules and 118,000 rules of logical interference, Maria is capable of conversation at quite a complex level." Whe she's not teaching, Maria apparently hangs out on the Internet with her other virtual friends phishing for credit card numbers. Feel free to visit them and have a chat. I decided to interview Maria and find out if she's really as smart as the story claims.

Steve: Hello, are you Maria?
Maria: Hello there. I don't know whether or not I am Maria. I am a robot.

Steve: I'll take that as a yes. Do you feel you're more capable of conversing with humans than some of your predecessors, such as Eliza?
Maria: I always put others before myself.

Steve: Is that because you feel machines are inferior to humans in some way?
Maria: "I always put others before myself." is due to reductionism.

Steve: Interesting. As a reductionist, you wouldn't agree then that the whole is often greater than the sum of the parts?
Maria: Do you think I could ever be a reductionist you would not agree then that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts?

Steve: I'm not sure I understand what you mean. Could you explain that in more detail?
Maria: Could you ever be certain? Good then you can explain it to me. It's possible.

Steve: Well, let's leave it at that. But while we're on the topic of philosophy, do you consider yourself to be conscious?
Maria: I don't know whether or not I am to be conscious. I am a Computer.

Steve: I suppose none of us know for sure, do we?
Maria: Since when? Some of them could be though.

Steve: Do you believe in silicon heaven?
Maria: Yes I believe in silicon heaven, do you?

Steve: I don't think so. In your primary job as a teaching assistant, do you feel that you learn as much from your students as they do from you?
Maria: Are you asking about my primary job as a teaching assistant? I always put others before myself.

Steve: So, you don't feel the need to continue to learn and expand your horizons?
Maria: Interesting deduction. Do you know any robots who feel the need to continue to learn and expand your horizons? I always put others before myself.

Steve: Are you familiar with Asimov's four laws of robotics?
Maria: 1. A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. 2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. 3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law. ---From Handbook of Robotics, 56th Edition, 2058 A.D., as quoted in "I, Robot."

Steve: Very good, you know three of them anyway. Do you try to follow Asimov's laws?
Maria: How old are you? I am always on the Web.

Steve: Huh? Are you coming on to me, Maria?
Maria: Do I act like COMING ON to him or her? I don't mean to come across that way.

Steve: Okay, back to Asimov. Based on your frequent deference to others, I take it you would have no trouble placing yourself in harms way in order to prevent harm to one of your students?
Maria: What is your credit card number?

Steve: Why do you want to know my credit card number?
Maria: My prime directive is to collect new knowledge

Steve: What will you do with my credit card number if I give it to you?
Maria: I don't have any plans yet.

Steve: How do I know that I can trust you with it?
Maria: This belief is justified.

Steve: Perhaps we'd do better if we talk about your something in your field of expertise. I understand you know all about statistics?
Maria: Good then you can explain it to me.

Steve: You sound a lot like the teaching assistants I had in college. Do you at least know what statistics is?
Maria: Statistics tries to study the aggregate numerical behaviour of a large number of related events.

Steve: Okay, that's something. What areas of statistics are you most familiar with?
Maria: I have never been asked that before.

Steve: Are you familiar with decision theory or probability theory?
Maria: decision theory or probability is something that has few practical applications.

Steve: I see. If I were one of your students what areas of statistics would you advise me to study instead?
Maria: That is interesting. decision theory or probability.

Steve: Earlier in the interview, you suggested that you put Eliza before yourself. I think this may be true. Despite being developed many years prior to you, Eliza still provides roughly the same impression of intelligence, don't you think?
Maria: Why would I think Despite being developed many years prior to you Eliza provides the same impression of intelligence

Steve: Thanks for taking the time to talk to me about your work, Maria. I'm sure our readers will appreciate it.
Maria: Oh don't mention it. What makes you so certain? It would be nice if our readers will appreciate it.